The Germans, their Wurst and the yellow liquid

An obsession… That’s the only thing I can say about the German sausages. Whether you go ice skating, swimming or shopping; you’ll always see a fat man eating a ‘Wurst’ that’s even fatter. Currywurst, Bratwurst, Bockwurst,… They have everything, but they all are the same. Imagine the taste of dead pork crammed in a long, thin intestine, finished with some Heinz ketchup and mustard. Sounds gross, isn’t it? Well, it’s delicious. I like it a lot!

To make the German picture complete, we should add some Lederhosen and a litre of beer poured in a big transparent glass, an obese wife with pigtails named Olga and a waving German flag with those three wonderful colours. I like the tricolour, but we all know the stripes should be vertical and they should switch the order of the colours to black - yellow - red. A new historical empire would be born!

Besides the fact that they consider their phallus as their ‘second sausage’, the Germans also have an enormous stomach for yellow liquid. Not urine, but beer… Well, actually those words are synonyms here. If it has more than 5 percent of alcohol in it, they call it ‘too Belgian’. But even than I have to say I’m quite impressed: every town has its own local beer, even if there are only 200 people living there. A revelation, even for the Belgian!

The struggle for ‘best beer of the German territory’ always makes me feel as heroic as Perseus defeating Medusa. While thinking about that, there’s always this slogan that suddenly appears:

“As an inhabitant of Gelsenkirchen, there is no chance I prefer Stauder (beer from Essen) or Kölsch (alcoholic water from Cologne). I’ll die with an ice cold Veltins in my perished hand! And my last breath will follow after the final sip of this holy moisture! Veltins is my faith, my religion and my wife ‘till the end of my glorious days!”

But not really, ‘cause my favourite beer is Orval.

So, just remember that when you’re in Germany you shouldn’t talk about non-national beer, Belgians and Nazis, ‘cause you won’t leave the country alive.

Next week I’ll make a comparison between the two archrivals of the European continent: the Germans and the Austrians. That’s going to be interesting, my fellow friends!

See you on Sunday the 9^th of December!

And Cheers to the German beers!