German porn, no taboos

All European countries have their sexual prejudices. Italians are Casanova’s, the French cheat on their partner, England has a problem with teenage pregnancies, the Dutch go to hookers, the Vatican loves children and the Germans… well… they have Merkel. Not that the world famous chancellor has no sex appeal –I’m sure that some men have a fetish for curvy mature women with a wonderful smile- but to be honest I wouldn’t go for a drink with her. At least not voluntarily. 

Actually, I don’t know what the Germans are famous for. Are it moustaches? No, those are the Turkish people. Long penises? I thought those were the Chin.. euhm, Africans. The only thing that hasn’t been said is a mix of them all: Porn must be the German’s sexual identification! It must have something to do with their language. It’s rough but honest, harsh but balanced, dirty but horny. I’ve never denied that German attracts me in all kinds of ways. There’s nothing more exciting than a girl using it in the right context. Even a word as ‘Schmetterling’ (butterfly) sounds like an invitation to make all your sexual fantasies becoming reality in a few minutes.

After I told my Romanian flatmate about the topic I chose for this blog, he immediately reacted in a non expected way. “Ja, Olga! Straf mich!”, he said in crappy German, while elegantly wiggling his ass and making a slapping movement with his hand. Believe it or not, but that also was the first thing that crossed my mind when I was thinking about this subject for the first time. After asking why he immediately had that image in his head, he explained severely that the first movie he saw after the fall of the Berlin wall was one of this type… and it was German, as all East European pornographic movies in that time. Fascinating, isn’t it?

According to Wikipedia, it’s more than just finding an industry in countries as Romania. The site gives some general information about the beginning of the area and its evolution, but when we scroll down to the year two thousand, we can read some other shit. You can interpret that quite literally… A shred from the encyclopaedia: “Due to popular belief outside of Germany, fecal pornography known as ‘Scheisse porn’ (using the German slang word for faeces) or, more commonly, as ‘Kaviar’ (a generic term) supposedly is particularly popular in Germany.” What the hell did I just read?! The people in this country like to poop on their partner. I can’t imagine Angela doing that. She’s such a hygienic woman!

For the first time I didn’t search for a second source to verify this rather uncomfortable story. If search engines would have noticed my quest for such words, they would send me advertisements that don’t belong on my screen. I do everything to avoid unpleasant moments. Pop-ups always reveal themselves when they’re least welcome, like for example when you and your mother are in the same room.

For the persons who are extremely attracted to this way of making love without emotions, there is a saying: shit happens. But as a tolerant Quaker, I say: “Let us not fight over this shit.”